Monday, September 25, 2006
i think recently i have been overwhelmed by my self created stress that i havent had the time to sit down and reflect on my life. yes sure, there are distractions around that im still learning to handle and im still barely grasping the whole concept of decision making.also, the emotional struggle to make the wisest decisions really slows things down and make life really unproductive. well, for my case at least.
recently, ive also been too bogged down by events, minor details and small things that consumes alot of my time. i look back and realise my foolishness and my lack of having a firm stand.
in fact, the papers and tests that i get back now arent exactly encouraging, really. i must say im disappointed in my incompetence and my lack of improvement no matter how hard i try to do my best. its not showing and its starting to take a toll on me. i wonder if i be able to go through this big monster PROMOs. but im not alone, i have god, my friends and my family :)
i realised that the harder i try to do better, the harder i find it to have a clear mind to tackle any question or task given to me. i think i need to take a step backwards, have a full good view of the situation, and then put my best foot forward. i think, i need to take away the huge rock of fear in my heart and replace it with faith and confidence.
hmmm, its not gonna be easy. noone said it was gonna to be easy. i need to relax and take a fullllll deep breath and continue to press on forward.
forgetting what lies behind, straining towards whats ahead.
for now, i think i havent sorted out many of my feelings and i need some time to reflect, evaluate, act upon.
i'll just say, dont worry, be happy! :)))
chen chen painted at 10:34 PM
