wahhhhhh the past week or so has been busy busy busy busy!!!!!
so many things just came and went in a whirlwind. lets just have pictures okay? :)
so on 18 nov was the farewell for thaddeus.
we were at the jap restaurant at cuppage. the food was, well, not bad i guess.
group photo! i will really treasure this group of guys.
we all wanted a piece of mat.
i think chantel looks like a da jie da here! hahahahaha. oops.
and they are the two emo kids, thaddeus and shawn
omgggg, debbie is so adorable here! i took her unaware! bahahah.
chantel and thad!! haha. i shant make further comments before chantel slaughter me.
hhahaha, and we look like brother and sister. yay bestie!
gideon is so cute here too. wahaha.
before the farewell we had geok's birthday celebration at The Cathay ben's and jerrys. hahaahha. we all tricked her there and sang her happy bday in front of everyone!
HAPPY 17 BDAY GEOKY!!!
and these are the times we are... well, studying... (during peer tutoring and self study sessions)
it makes you tired and haggard. just look at us. HAHA
and then you cant take it and sleep. hahaha.
yay! i really wanna update about SL and mcg and the last cg with the yj girls but im tired already. i will update real soon!!!!! :DDD
chen chen painted at 9:10 PM
today i realllllly feeel the stress banging hard on me, slapping me on the face with a tight slap.
i cant seem to do anything right, things seem to be turning out worse and it accumulates to alot of things i have to personally look into. i need to give my attention to so many things, i need to be at so many places at the same time, i need to smile. its getting harder and harder to be positive. i really am trying to.
everyone is expecting me to be the best in everything.
i have to be beyond what i am now.
they want to see results. (whoever looked at the process?!?!?!?)
so many things piling at one go.
tell me how i can do it. tell me how to produce what everyone expects me to achieve. tell me how i can handle my emotions.
can i split myself, please please please.
i cant turn back time, but can i slow time down?
and these are the times when i sincerely feel that noone understands.
i know someone does, but will you carry me through this tough times?
chen chen painted at 5:19 PM
i was perfectly fine only a little while before. my crazy usual self.
then now i suddenly feel so heavy hearted.
i think its the realisation of so many things at hand. its just a stress thats building up slowly but its starting to take its toll on my shoulders.
like a heavy bag, it makes me hunched back, (unable to keep a optimistic spirit ), makes me move slower (things arent getting done on schedule) and less versatile( where's the inspiration and motivation?).
ministry, farewell, evax, cg,school work, pp exam, family stress, self created stress.
i guess im just tired, and i think its mainly cause previously i was too dependant on my leaders and maybe cause the issues came at the same time.
i think im being stretched in all areas. still learning to cope with it.
give me time okay?
i wanna be what chantel said. beyond the PPC curve, i need to do more than just improving. i need a breakthrough in my life in all areas really. studies, spiritual life, ministry, family.
i need to not just do to my best but learn to be impactful, spirit led, and most imptly, debbie says i can only bring them to where i have been before.
but tonight, im really worn out and tired. im really stretched. im really emotional.
actually i wanna rant somemore. but seriously, just move on okay zhiwei! no use dwelling on negative thoughts. -pushes myself away.
chen chen painted at 10:53 PM
haha. OP IS FINALLY OVERRR! hoorays! hahahahahaha.
i love my pw group. yay.
and these pictures show how pw can make your classmates cranky and go crazy. thats EVE and MIMI!!! hahhahahahaha.
and what was i doing? busy flipping through magazine and i chanced over a boy whom i shall name as BOWL BOY! hahaha. mainly cos he looks like he put the bowl over his head and cut his hair. so adorable right.
and the baby here is so cute! hahaha. dont you feel like hugging her. by the way, im not taking jerry yen. eeks. hahahahaha.
hohoho. another picture of eve.. er hum.... shin goon! :)
HAHAHAHA. and i caught yinzzz unaware. LOL. what a face. :D
and this is where friendships are forged and will last till the end. relationships arent bounded by structure! :) yj will always have a place in my heart.
chen chen painted at 9:11 PM
i used to tackle each task like a bull, charging at one direction and not planning step by step. it means more effort and less results. so much of depending on my own brute strength and forgetting that god can be in control.
now, i think im slowly learning to see it from a bird's eye view. taking a step backwards, sometimes gives me more time to look at the situation, ponder and pray through it and finally, do it WITH god.
this is a good change, and it allows me to view things in a new light. it gives me such a conviction that i have alot of areas to grow in, alot of blindspots waiting to be discovered, a need to be more mature in my ways, grow to be more god oriented, and set a good example for i am an ambassador!, and lastly, a long journey ahead with god, shepherd and sheeps.
when he is in the picture, i seem to have an inexplicable strength and faith that if i do my best in every aspect of my life, he will be there for me. its time! its time to grow myself! : )
and to practice what we preach, shepherd dua tao aka debbie... when is our next shepherding!!!!!! -tugs onto your shirt. :D
chen chen painted at 12:46 PM
