Thursday, November 16, 2006
i was perfectly fine only a little while before. my crazy usual self.
then now i suddenly feel so heavy hearted.
i think its the realisation of so many things at hand. its just a stress thats building up slowly but its starting to take its toll on my shoulders.
like a heavy bag, it makes me hunched back, (unable to keep a optimistic spirit ), makes me move slower (things arent getting done on schedule) and less versatile( where's the inspiration and motivation?).
ministry, farewell, evax, cg,school work, pp exam, family stress, self created stress.
i guess im just tired, and i think its mainly cause previously i was too dependant on my leaders and maybe cause the issues came at the same time.
i think im being stretched in all areas. still learning to cope with it.
give me time okay?
i wanna be what chantel said. beyond the PPC curve, i need to do more than just improving. i need a breakthrough in my life in all areas really. studies, spiritual life, ministry, family.
i need to not just do to my best but learn to be impactful, spirit led, and most imptly, debbie says i can only bring them to where i have been before.
but tonight, im really worn out and tired. im really stretched. im really emotional.
actually i wanna rant somemore. but seriously, just move on okay zhiwei! no use dwelling on negative thoughts. -pushes myself away.
chen chen painted at 10:53 PM
