Wednesday, January 03, 2007
another rainy day,
i cant recall heaven's sunshine on my face
and all i feel is pain
all i wanna do
is walk out of this place
but when i am stuck
and i cant move
and i dont know what i should do
and i wonder if i ever make it through
i gotta keep singing
i gotta keep praising your name
you're the one that keeps my heart beating
i gotta keep singing
i gotta keep praising your name
thats the only way that i find healing
can i climb up in your lap
i dont wanna leave
i guess this song explains how i feel right now. its been ages since i blogged.
time for some flashback to my life in 2006.
i must say it has been a quick paced year that is filled with events after events. so many things have happened in this year alone. too many. memories that i love and treasure, and also certain things i wouldnt like to recall. my 1st 3 mths in yjc was definitely unforgettable and deeply etched in my heart. i miss so many ppl! like the whole p09, tanny, xiaoting, sophia, zhuwen and etc. okay too many. it was a one of a kind experience. orientation, disco night, cca fair, playing cards, cabbing to sch with bestie every morning, valentinesday, cny and then results. and like how it came in a flash, it left me in a flash. the next thing i knew i went to aj. orientation, pon sch, pon orientation, counselled by counsillors, scolded by ogl, feeling all sad and melancholic and unable to move on. then came 3406. it took some time but i found great and wonderful friends here. friends that supported me all the way, the ones who stood by me during my downtimes. the people whom i do stupid things with. michelle eve ashikin mimi jasimah peiqi jielin aiyi stephanie jianrong ash. and then came the mid years, then while other ppl got straight As, i got straight Us. then national day, teachers day, then those staying back to play bball which is meant to study, and then promos. then RESULTS. it was disastrous. and it made everyone including me so upset and i just couldnt pick up anymore. my spirit crumbled and i became more and more pessimistic. i couldnt promote. no way with that kind of results. but god gave me another chance to be provisionally promoted. then holidays came. the studying times with the pp ppl, then i lost the momentum and stopped altogether. then there was camp :) , things picked up a little, christmas came and i spent it with all my really loved ones. then the exams. then countdown chalet, 2007!!, then the first day of school. ( i was late > < LOL)
and as much as i would love to say i have been promoted, the results is not out yet. i would love to be optimistic and have some confidence, but its hard, however, trust me, im really trying to have a positive outlook.
this uncertainty unnerves me. this suspense and waiting is killing my spirit.
and now i know i have to learn to trust in god.
chen chen painted at 7:56 PM
