Sunday, April 15, 2007
i just got back from photog camp. the one word i was going to describe about the camp ( but they din ask me so i shall blog about it ) was BRIDGE! hahaha.... actually it meant more like the card game. but i was intending to say something lame like it bridged our differences and bonded us together or something. OH WELLS. hahahaha. the whole time we kinda just whiled away time but i really did get to know the J1s better. yeaps, im not so slack okay. hahaha.
anyways, there is just so much things i want to share to someone who would understand what im going through but i just dont know how to start ya know? so i end up keeping things to myself most of the time, but debbie should know what its about la. i really want to take this opportunity for thanking debbie, my shepherd, for always lending her ears to me and listening to me. i really appreciate you concern and care shepherd! :)
the things i go through, the way i look at things, the emotions i have to struggle with, the physical drainage i get, the mental weariness and the way you speak to me doesnt help one bit.
so i finally understand what is familiarity breeds contempt. the biggest problem is that you dont see it as a problem.
so why do you think i bother to find out the issue and try to help? dont you realise that i am struggling with my own problems as well? life isnt easy on me either alright, i hope you can understand that and tell me whats going on in your life.
but noone sees it from my point of view, except god, and maybe debbie.
i really didnt intended to sound so angsty. but its going too far, and far too long. my heart is taxed so heavily, like progressive tax, it keeps increasing. haha.
zhiwei, smile,keep a smile,and keep smiling. you just gotta smile your way through your problems and solve them!
then i keep telling myself, that im living for the audience of one.
chen chen painted at 5:31 PM
